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| got bored so I wrote this lol https://mail.pokemonacademylife.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=32 |
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| Author: | MSGTNP [ Wed Apr 13, 2016 2:12 am ] |
| Post subject: | got bored so I wrote this lol |
I got bored and this darn visual novel was on my mind so enjoy my little nerd sacks! lol Red stands on stage in front of the entire audience Red:(oh man I never thought there be this many people!...Come on Red you can do this! Your only narrating the story! Serena watching!) The stage light beams on Red. Despite being embarrassed, he musters the strength needed to pull through the play. Red begins to speak in deeper done to fit the mood Red: With his poke ball in hand, The lone trainer clutches the poke ball to his chest. The poke ball roars the memories long forgotten. In this poke ball, laid the warrior of there salvation. With humanities greatest foe now attested, the legend, the prophecy has came to be....There Legend, the tale can now begin....Kobukan Academy presents "The Brave Legends" Red bows before looking up and quickly scoping out the audience and seeing Leaf, May and Brandon in the back. Red:(Am really surprised they came in the first place, especially Leaf and Brandon. I hope they don't cause trouble) In his final search among the crowd before curtain falls, he notices Serena wiping away some tears. Serena: Oh my...that was....enchanting Red:(Is Serena crying? oh man I cant think about that right now! got to focus and get behind the line when the curtain falls!) |
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| Author: | Johnh12 [ Thu Apr 14, 2016 5:33 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: got bored so I wrote this lol |
You have a few typos, but I really wish you would expand on this, that short little one liner doesn't really give reason to make Serena cry, so maybe if you give Red addition dialogue it will make sense, but it's still decent for a rough draft. |
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| Author: | MSGTNP [ Sat Apr 16, 2016 4:02 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: got bored so I wrote this lol |
indeed like I said, I was bored so I didn't take it seriously. What you want to write a full script for this? lol |
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